1
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:15,060
Thank you.

2
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,360
Okay, is that on? Yeah.

3
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,680
Good evening. I am Colonel Kahn,
formerly Dr. Kahn of the A.J. Kahn

4
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,680
Mental Institute.

5
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:39,280
Now, some time ago in 1999, we had a
very serious epidemic. What we thought

6
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,460
to be the erotic witch possession
actually turned out to be a sexual

7
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:43,460
virus.

8
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,400
This is Dr. Davis.

9
00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:49,620
She will be joining us on this journey.

10
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,340
Are you feeling okay?

11
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,750
And here, of course, is Darian Cain.

12
00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:03,210
She was one of the first victims to have
this virus, but she's also one of the

13
00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:08,010
first patients to be cured of it. And
that's thanks to the potion that I've

14
00:03:08,010 --> 00:03:12,950
created, which is actually an
amalgamation of various DNA strands from

15
00:03:12,950 --> 00:03:17,890
impotent, very religious people, very
conservative people.

16
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:21,990
Primarily, however, it's from the DNA of
Trekkies.

17
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:32,500
This virus has not only caused massive
chaos in the nation, but all across the

18
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,740
world. Quite possibly, this is one of
the serious things that we've had to

19
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:36,740
deal with as humans.

20
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:43,100
But now my goal is to go into the past
with my fellow comrades and find the

21
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,720
origins of this epidemic.

22
00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:47,600
If we're going to find the people that
it started from.

23
00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:52,570
And we're going to give them the cure
and everything will be okay. But we have

24
00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:56,410
to go to 1999, Bocketsville. And that's
where you can see we're headed to.

25
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,340
It's so hot in here.

26
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,560
You know,

27
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,380
I really don't think I need a massage.

28
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,740
Then again...

29
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,620
Being on this five-year mission, and
after that seven-year mission to Ride

30
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,180
Hill 7, sure can weigh you down.

31
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,700
Dr. Davis, that's not my back.

32
00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,860
I think you're having a problem with
direction, honey.

33
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,380
If you need a map, you can check the
glove compartment.

34
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,880
Um, that's not the glove compartment.

35
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,840
Can I jump in the cockpit with you?

36
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,720
I think you already are.

37
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:19,920
Please, Mr. Spock, please take me with
you to warp two. Please.

38
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,360
Now you're talking my language, sister.

39
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,460
Thank you.

40
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:38,050
Thank you.

41
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:42,359
It'll come.

42
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,360
It'll come.

43
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,320
It'll come.

44
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,880
It'll fly.

45
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,220
Oh,

46
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,080
did we land?

47
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,780
Yeah, we're there.

48
00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:00,580
Oh, that was a long ride.

49
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,820
All right. What happened?

50
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,840
What, did we crash?

51
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,660
You know I always have problems with
that parallel parking thing. That is

52
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,660
true, you do.

53
00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:14,740
Why are you naked, though?

54
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,800
Oh, the damn air conditioner broke
again.

55
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,440
You believe that?

56
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,520
Yeah, it is a little humid.

57
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,100
Well, now that we're here in
Bacchusville, let's check it out.

58
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,060
Now, are you sure that this is
Bacchusville 1999?

59
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,560
I don't know. Davis had the map. I just
followed.

60
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:40,840
Well, let's see.

61
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,180
Oh, goodness. This is not Bacchusville.
This is Hicksville.

62
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:54,520
Bacchusville is five miles north, and
Jerkitsville is two miles south.

63
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,020
But we're actually close to Beaver Dam.

64
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,240
Davis. Gosh darn it.

65
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,140
She totally messed up.

66
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,040
Yeah, Davis, you screw up.

67
00:16:05,450 --> 00:16:06,510
Wait a minute, where is she?

68
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,930
I don't know. I don't know.

69
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,350
Tornation of aliens again.

70
00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:24,810
That's the second time this week.

71
00:16:47,470 --> 00:16:52,070
Hold it right there, Dusty. I always
knew you were a space alien.

72
00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:55,690
Oh, applesauce famous. I ain't no darn
alien.

73
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:03,330
You don't take one step closer, I'll
show you Blondie Stone.

74
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:08,170
Oh, this hit crash half an hour ago, and
those aliens are already long gone.

75
00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:10,910
Well, Dusty, I heard it on the radio.

76
00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:13,970
Yeah, they're just visiting, checking
out the neighborhood.

77
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:15,970
Oh, just visiting.

78
00:17:17,290 --> 00:17:20,410
Good. I thought it wasn't invading there
for a moment.

79
00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:26,250
I think I'm feeling faint.

80
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:27,890
Dusty, what's wrong?

81
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:29,450
I don't know.

82
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:33,550
James, I have to ask you something.

83
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:37,370
Yeah. Is it true what they say about the
Irish curse?

84
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:39,230
What curse?

85
00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:42,950
Well, you know, the Irish are hung like
mosquitoes.

86
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:49,210
Well, um, yeah, I mean no, I mean, how
would I know that?

87
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,250
Okay,

88
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,690
I think I want to lick your leprechaun.

89
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:57,330
Oh yeah?

90
00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:02,970
Dusty, as long as you don't use the
alien anal probe on me.

91
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:06,070
Don't worry Shane, it won't hurt a bit.

92
00:26:01,130 --> 00:26:05,130
So what do you boys want to do tonight
besides tipping cows?

93
00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:11,970
Well, I know that there's this hot bitch
that just moved in that other trailer

94
00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:12,970
down the street.

95
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:16,650
She's real ripe and ready. I think she's
about like 42.

96
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:19,390
She's been waiting for someone hot.

97
00:26:20,310 --> 00:26:22,810
Oh, for a second, boys.

98
00:26:23,070 --> 00:26:24,070
Oh, shit.

99
00:26:24,090 --> 00:26:25,090
Look what we got here.

100
00:26:26,570 --> 00:26:27,590
Roof, roof, roof.

101
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,520
Hey, uh, fella, uh, we're looking for
our friend. She's, uh, kind of dressed

102
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,680
like this. You seen her?

103
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:37,200
No, we ain't seen anybody look like you.

104
00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:38,460
We remember that.

105
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:40,400
Somebody look like Tim, man, we remember
that.

106
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:41,680
Yeah.

107
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,840
So, uh, what are you guys, space aliens?

108
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:52,540
Yeah, they're just space aliens. I know
what they look like. I saw Independence

109
00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:56,640
Day. I saw that shit. That's a space
alien. That's a good one.

110
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:58,759
Well, no.

111
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,540
Actually, I'm a doctor, and she used to
be my patient.

112
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,820
And you see, there's a very widespread
epidemic in the future, and we've gotten

113
00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:09,640
a spaceship and a time machine to come
into the past to find the origins of

114
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,640
that.

115
00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:13,340
So, uh, what are you? Space aliens?

116
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,360
You said it. Space aliens.

117
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,280
Watch out. They might, like, beam you
into space or something. Hold on to

118
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,320
this, Hector. Yeah.

119
00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:25,790
Go get you some, brother. Oh, come on,
little lady. How about you and I cutting

120
00:27:25,790 --> 00:27:26,850
the rug? What do you say?

121
00:27:27,210 --> 00:27:29,550
Oh, thank you. Come on, let me get some
of that dancing.

122
00:27:30,230 --> 00:27:32,450
Come on. There's no rug to be cut here.

123
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:33,830
No rug cutting, huh?

124
00:27:34,550 --> 00:27:36,610
What are you going to do about it?

125
00:27:37,390 --> 00:27:38,390
Listen, skinny.

126
00:27:38,410 --> 00:27:41,590
You look like you're real hungry, and I
have a fat knuckle sandwich here with

127
00:27:41,590 --> 00:27:42,590
extra cheese.

128
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,360
Oh, you're getting it now. You've done
it now.

129
00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:55,020
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, you've done it
now, bitch. You just made our brother

130
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:58,640
Cletus run away. Me and Cletus, we're
going to get you now, bitch. Oh, yeah.

131
00:27:58,780 --> 00:27:59,780
Come on, you alien.

132
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,580
Hold on. Kick your ass. No, enough of
that. We're kicking the alien ass. I'm

133
00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:04,940
going to get this alien bitch. Come on.

134
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,840
Independence Day, my ass.

135
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,500
Come on. We're going to bring you to it.

136
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:47,979
for Dr.

137
00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:51,780
Davis. She's a blonde with skimpy silver
apparel.

138
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,120
Hello?

139
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,200
Hello?

140
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,400
Where could she have gone?

141
00:28:59,020 --> 00:29:00,020
Hello?

142
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:04,640
You know, oddly enough, it seems like
I'm wearing a second bra.

143
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,880
Oh, don't tell me you're infected with
the virus.

144
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,100
Oh gosh, uh, yeah.

145
00:29:13,820 --> 00:29:16,800
Oh. And, um, that's not all.

146
00:29:18,060 --> 00:29:22,940
What? Dr. Davis has been infected as
well, and by now she's probably spread

147
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:26,080
it all away from Hicksville to
Bacchusville. What? And you didn't tell

148
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,780
me? I didn't want to make you mad. You
made the last guy cry.

149
00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:35,220
You know, if I wasn't so mad right now,
I could just... You know what? I'm so

150
00:29:35,220 --> 00:29:38,940
pissed off that I just want to squeeze
your cute little cheeks.

151
00:30:22,060 --> 00:30:23,880
Oh, you love me, baby.

152
00:31:12,980 --> 00:31:13,980
Oh,

153
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,360
you love me, baby.

154
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,400
Thank you.

155
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,640
Oh,

156
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:30,680
yeah.

157
00:36:10,839 --> 00:36:11,839
Oh, yeah, I feel it.

158
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,520
Oh, yeah, I feel it.

159
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:01,960
I feel it.

160
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,120
Huh.

161
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,640
Cool. What's this thing?

162
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,800
This, dear Darian, is the Bonometer
3000.

163
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,840
It measures any level of sexual activity
or attraction.

164
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:13,080
And I figure we'll be able to get David
because she's at a 10 right now.

165
00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:16,620
When you do find her, it'll start
buzzing.

166
00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:24,260
Buzzing? Like... Or beeping, beeping,
buzzing.

167
00:38:24,380 --> 00:38:25,380
Something happens.

168
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:26,720
Good. Okay.

169
00:38:36,430 --> 00:38:39,770
Oh, yeah, Captain. This is going to be
good. You see how it's buzzing? I told

170
00:38:39,770 --> 00:38:40,769
you it's going off.

171
00:38:40,770 --> 00:38:41,770
There they go.

172
00:38:41,950 --> 00:38:42,950
Mm-hmm.

173
00:38:43,450 --> 00:38:45,690
Look at those girls. Do you recognize
any of them?

174
00:38:46,890 --> 00:38:48,270
No. Maybe they're gone.

175
00:38:48,670 --> 00:38:49,670
It's hot.

176
00:38:49,710 --> 00:38:50,710
It is.

177
00:38:50,930 --> 00:38:54,530
This is good stuff, but it's no use to
us. Let's go this way.

178
00:38:58,030 --> 00:39:01,190
There you go, my friend. You're going to
love this. Oh, Chardonnay.

179
00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:05,190
Beautiful. Yeah, great year, too. Good
vintage. Thank you so much. Wonderful.

180
00:39:05,330 --> 00:39:08,890
You're a smear. I'd say Chardonnay all
the way. What'd I miss? What's going on?

181
00:39:08,970 --> 00:39:15,090
Well, I'm watching these new uniforms
that San Diego has, you know? And the

182
00:39:15,090 --> 00:39:16,090
leggings are so...

183
00:39:16,540 --> 00:39:20,480
You know, it shows you, like, every
nuance of the Kite Buttocks, you know?

184
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,800
It's crazy. You can almost see what
religion they are, right? I know. It's

185
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:23,800
insane. It's insane.

186
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,680
Hey, can I grab a Coke? Oh, sure. Help
yourself.

187
00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:26,799
Help yourself.

188
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,580
Hey, you know, there's more, like, these
night games. I mean, they're not

189
00:39:29,580 --> 00:39:32,680
playing. I mean, they're not playing.
You know, it makes you, like, the abs

190
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,020
gleam. Like, you've got all this sweat
on the six-packs. Oh, my God. It's,

191
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,420
like, sitting abs everywhere.

192
00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:41,120
It's a tough look, man. I'm going to do
that. I'm going to get a six-pack, man.

193
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:41,738
You're doing that?

194
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:46,960
Check out those guns, man. You got like
a five-pack already.

195
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:49,600
You want the one up, you get the
six-pack.

196
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,940
What do you got going on? I got a
four-pack.

197
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,180
Come on, a two-pack.

198
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,760
I'll go with you on that one later, man.

199
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:02,300
You know, the thing about football
season I love? What's that? It's in the

200
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:05,100
fall. It's a colorful season. You've got
a beautiful yard.

201
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,580
I'm noticing that maple tree outside
when I pulled up.

202
00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:13,520
It's sort of like crimson or ochre. What
is that?

203
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,780
It's like a tree. It's beautiful.

204
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,660
It's a beautiful thing. I admire your
landscaping. It's wonderful.

205
00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:21,640
Hey, thanks. You've got nice
landscaping, too.

206
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:33,430
Wait a minute.

207
00:40:33,710 --> 00:40:37,410
It's broken. What is this?

208
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,470
It's not working.

209
00:40:57,230 --> 00:40:59,490
Their space aliens are so mean.

210
00:41:00,270 --> 00:41:04,730
Oh, Cletus, honey, it's all right. If
you want me to, honey, I'll read you a

211
00:41:04,730 --> 00:41:05,529
story later.

212
00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:07,190
I know you can read, kid. Uh-huh.

213
00:41:07,690 --> 00:41:08,690
Hi, Deputy.

214
00:41:09,190 --> 00:41:11,190
I'm here to investigate the fight.

215
00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:16,530
Oh, there was a fire rocker. But I'm
talking to the lady.

216
00:41:17,710 --> 00:41:21,570
I wasn't really here for the whole
thing. I didn't see it all. He was. I

217
00:41:21,570 --> 00:41:24,550
sure as hell. He was proud of it. But it
came down to it.

218
00:41:25,230 --> 00:41:27,010
I told you I was talking to the lady.

219
00:41:27,470 --> 00:41:30,870
Now why don't you shut your pie hole and
go fetch me a shamrock.

220
00:41:31,150 --> 00:41:32,150
Okay.

221
00:41:34,710 --> 00:41:37,210
Now ma'am, I need to know all the facts
about the fight.

222
00:41:37,590 --> 00:41:41,110
I don't have them all. I don't know
exactly what went on. I wasn't here for

223
00:41:41,110 --> 00:41:42,110
the whole thing I said.

224
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:46,410
Now ma'am, I'm here to investigate the
bar fight. I need to know all the facts.

225
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:50,650
I need to know what you're wearing
underneath that bag.

226
00:41:52,050 --> 00:41:53,050
Nothing.

227
00:41:53,490 --> 00:41:56,270
Well, let me further my investigation
and take it off.

228
00:42:02,910 --> 00:42:03,990
See, I told you.

229
00:42:05,710 --> 00:42:06,710
That's much better.

230
00:42:06,970 --> 00:42:08,090
Now I can concentrate.

231
00:43:49,070 --> 00:43:49,710
here you go

232
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:59,410
here

233
00:43:59,410 --> 00:44:06,350
you

234
00:44:06,350 --> 00:44:07,350
here you go

235
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:25,740
Me. Me. Me.

236
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:28,460
Me.

237
00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:02,720
Thank you.

238
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,220
I've got a

239
00:46:08,210 --> 00:46:11,010
Thank you.

240
00:46:56,810 --> 00:46:57,810
I don't want to miss that.

241
00:47:52,540 --> 00:47:53,940
No.

242
00:51:00,590 --> 00:51:01,630
That's my sister!

243
00:51:02,770 --> 00:51:03,770
Can I walk?

244
00:51:16,790 --> 00:51:20,770
Oh, goodness!

245
00:51:21,170 --> 00:51:22,630
Why do you keep bumping into me?

246
00:51:22,970 --> 00:51:25,210
I can't help it. I was born with two
left feet.

247
00:51:25,790 --> 00:51:29,770
You know, that is the most played-out
expression ever, and I hate it. Yeah,

248
00:51:29,770 --> 00:51:33,650
but I really was born with two left
feet. Look, I'll show you.

249
00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:38,670
See?

250
00:51:39,510 --> 00:51:42,590
Oh, my God, that is disgusting, Darian.

251
00:51:42,930 --> 00:51:46,610
Why did I never notice that you have two
left feet when we were getting it on? I

252
00:51:46,610 --> 00:51:49,150
don't know, maybe because you were
caught up in the moment.

253
00:51:49,470 --> 00:51:52,270
And just in my arms, it's so messy.

254
00:51:52,650 --> 00:51:54,250
Okay, this is getting stupid.

255
00:51:55,019 --> 00:51:59,660
Why don't you and your two left feet go
that way, I'm heading this way. We'll

256
00:51:59,660 --> 00:52:00,940
cover more ground if we're split up.

257
00:52:01,220 --> 00:52:03,440
Okay. Can I borrow the bonometer?

258
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,300
Darian, you don't know how to use the
bonometer. This is not a joke instrument

259
00:52:08,300 --> 00:52:10,400
here. Please, can I borrow the
bonometer?

260
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:11,720
No!

261
00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:16,140
But, but, but, it's my turn! No, you're
not even going to use it! It's my turn!

262
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,080
You're not even going to find it that
way! It's my turn! It's my turn! Okay! I

263
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,080
hate it!

264
00:52:23,690 --> 00:52:25,610
Well, whatever. Keep it. I don't need it
anyway.

265
00:52:25,990 --> 00:52:29,770
My nose will do all the work for me.
I'll be able to sniff out that sex

266
00:52:29,770 --> 00:52:30,770
anywhere.

267
00:52:33,910 --> 00:52:34,910
This way.

268
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:41,250
It's getting stronger.

269
00:52:43,010 --> 00:52:45,730
I smell something really sexy.

270
00:52:48,810 --> 00:52:50,750
Hi. Are you Jamaican?

271
00:52:51,070 --> 00:52:53,010
No. Why do you ask?

272
00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:54,910
Because you're making me crazy.

273
00:52:55,110 --> 00:52:56,170
Well, well, well.

274
01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,540
Then what happened?

275
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:15,000
Sweet. She got up. She took the bag off.

276
01:00:15,540 --> 01:00:16,780
She was naked.

277
01:00:17,940 --> 01:00:19,040
Is it true?

278
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,620
Girls got eight nipples like a dog?

279
01:00:22,980 --> 01:00:23,839
Yeah, it's true.

280
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:24,840
Is it true?

281
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:27,280
No, boys. It's true. Just like us.

282
01:00:27,660 --> 01:00:29,440
I know that. I know that.

283
01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:35,200
Okay, then what happened? Then what
happened? He got naked, too. And by the

284
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,620
way, it's true what they say about the
others.

285
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:38,600
And he's so...

286
01:00:39,130 --> 01:00:42,430
Forgot to tell you. I looked on down at
that middle region.

287
01:00:43,450 --> 01:00:47,450
It's like a worm coming out of a
blanket. A worm coming out of a blanket?

288
01:00:47,590 --> 01:00:52,130
So he just stuck it in there and it was
going on up and down. It was like turkey

289
01:00:52,130 --> 01:00:53,150
basting at Thanksgiving.

290
01:00:54,410 --> 01:00:55,410
Thanksgiving?

291
01:00:55,930 --> 01:01:01,910
Master Tires, Cream Vase, and Dog Food
Jella.

292
01:01:02,130 --> 01:01:04,830
You know, all this talk of pussy is
making me hungry.

293
01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:07,990
Wait, Jake. You get your butt over here,
Jake.

294
01:01:24,150 --> 01:01:25,150
Damn,

295
01:01:27,990 --> 01:01:30,230
I only got a C-plus in dirt bike class.

296
01:01:30,450 --> 01:01:32,250
I know I could have been doing better
donuts.

297
01:01:32,490 --> 01:01:34,630
Oh, Kitty, those donuts look great to
me.

298
01:01:34,970 --> 01:01:35,529
You think?

299
01:01:35,530 --> 01:01:38,030
Yeah, and that bag's awesome. Is that
new?

300
01:01:38,590 --> 01:01:42,750
I like it. Cletus got it for me last
week. He looks like a real hefty, if you

301
01:01:42,750 --> 01:01:43,750
ask me.

302
01:01:44,570 --> 01:01:45,830
So how you been, darling?

303
01:01:46,330 --> 01:01:50,470
Well, I'm feeling a bit down. This
mailbox baseball's all filled up, and

304
01:01:50,470 --> 01:01:52,490
I'm going to take another semester just
to graduate.

305
01:01:52,770 --> 01:01:56,450
I don't know what my inbred pap is going
to think of me taking eight years to get

306
01:01:56,450 --> 01:01:57,388
my degree.

307
01:01:57,390 --> 01:02:00,310
Oh, heck, Dusty, you're still going to
graduate coming all day.

308
01:02:00,690 --> 01:02:01,850
Thank you, Kitty.

309
01:06:04,110 --> 01:06:07,350
You know, after I got rid of the basic
fundamental health institute, I thought

310
01:06:07,350 --> 01:06:08,450
it was better to get a spaceship.

311
01:06:08,850 --> 01:06:10,010
You know, that's the move.

312
01:06:10,550 --> 01:06:13,350
I put all this stuff into my cell bag,
you know, pretty handy.

313
01:06:14,430 --> 01:06:15,830
Oh, my God.

314
01:06:16,230 --> 01:06:18,630
Where have you guys been? I've been
searching for you for hours.

315
01:06:18,850 --> 01:06:20,770
Well, actually, we went strawberry
picking.

316
01:06:21,410 --> 01:06:23,450
Yeah. In the middle of winter?

317
01:06:24,130 --> 01:06:27,030
You know, that's probably why we didn't
find anything.

318
01:06:27,950 --> 01:06:28,950
Well,

319
01:06:30,650 --> 01:06:31,408
where have you been?

320
01:06:31,410 --> 01:06:32,650
Oh, my God, it was horrible.

321
01:06:33,450 --> 01:06:37,130
Four hillbillies tossed me in a sack,
threw me down a hill. Next thing I knew,

322
01:06:37,130 --> 01:06:41,690
I woke up reciting the Sigma Sigma Thigh
Frat Pledge. It was awful.

323
01:06:42,230 --> 01:06:44,730
Yeah, but Darian thinks could be worse.

324
01:06:45,370 --> 01:06:46,410
Worse than this?

325
01:06:47,590 --> 01:06:48,590
Jeez!

326
01:06:48,990 --> 01:06:49,990
Wow!

327
01:06:50,410 --> 01:06:53,110
Look what they did. That's a nice little
design.

328
01:06:54,150 --> 01:06:55,230
Very cool.

329
01:06:55,950 --> 01:06:59,950
Well, I suppose we're going to have to
do a little hazing of our own.

330
01:14:24,890 --> 01:14:26,550
Dude, I can't find the ball anywhere.

331
01:14:26,830 --> 01:14:28,170
You can't find the ball? I'm sorry.

332
01:14:28,550 --> 01:14:29,550
We don't have a football?

333
01:14:29,670 --> 01:14:31,850
I don't know. What do you want to do?
Maybe we don't need a ball.

334
01:14:32,390 --> 01:14:35,430
How's that? You never watch football.
Sometimes it's just about motion, you

335
01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:39,130
know? It's about movement. Maybe we
don't need a ball to play football. What

336
01:14:39,130 --> 01:14:41,990
do you think? I think you're right.
Let's try it. Let's try it. Yeah. All

337
01:14:41,990 --> 01:14:45,210
right. Okay. Ready? All right. Good. You
good? I'm good. You in? I'm in. I'm in.

338
01:14:45,230 --> 01:14:46,690
Good. All right. Here we go.

339
01:14:47,130 --> 01:14:48,130
15, 21.

340
01:14:48,830 --> 01:14:49,830
15, 21.

341
01:14:50,370 --> 01:14:51,510
Hey. Hey.

342
01:14:51,730 --> 01:14:52,730
Hey.

343
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:57,540
It looks like a bunch of girls making
out.

344
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:01,760
Give me that ball, you!

345
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:11,880
Oh, dang!

346
01:15:14,440 --> 01:15:15,440
Bang!

347
01:15:40,490 --> 01:15:41,830
DANG! DANG!

348
01:15:42,190 --> 01:15:43,570
DANG! DANG!

349
01:15:43,850 --> 01:15:45,050
DANG! DANG!

350
01:15:45,390 --> 01:15:47,910
DANG! DANG! DANG!

351
01:15:48,190 --> 01:15:49,148
DANG! DANG!

352
01:15:49,150 --> 01:15:50,470
DANG! DANG!

353
01:15:53,590 --> 01:15:54,590
DANG!

354
01:16:09,260 --> 01:16:10,260
One class free.

355
01:16:10,660 --> 01:16:12,460
Shoot. Come on. Come on.

356
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:13,860
What? What?

357
01:16:14,200 --> 01:16:19,220
There's like lesbian sex going on
everywhere in our town. Oh, my God. What

358
01:16:19,220 --> 01:16:22,200
are we going to do? We got to call the
FBI. We got to call the CIA.

359
01:16:22,580 --> 01:16:23,640
We got to call the BBC.

360
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,000
We got to call the Secret Service.

361
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:27,780
We got to call the FDA.

362
01:16:28,300 --> 01:16:29,300
What? FDA?

363
01:16:29,420 --> 01:16:33,060
What are we going to call them for?
Because them lepers is off the ranch.

364
01:16:33,340 --> 01:16:36,200
Well, we got to give them. Wait a
minute.

365
01:16:36,730 --> 01:16:39,250
The tractor pull starts in five minutes,
man. We got to go.

366
01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:40,970
Tractor pull.

367
01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:42,228
Tractor pull.

368
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:43,230
Tractor pull.

369
01:16:45,490 --> 01:16:46,810
Tractor pull.

370
01:16:49,690 --> 01:16:50,830
Tractor pull.

371
01:16:51,490 --> 01:16:52,590
Tractor pull.

372
01:16:53,910 --> 01:16:54,910
Tractor pull.

373
01:16:58,850 --> 01:17:01,390
Tractor pull.

374
01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:03,700
Wait a second.

375
01:17:04,260 --> 01:17:06,040
Deputy, I was supposed to tell you
something important.

376
01:17:06,260 --> 01:17:08,060
What was I supposed to tell you again?

377
01:17:08,440 --> 01:17:09,440
That you're a moron.

378
01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:10,840
No, that wasn't it.

379
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:13,560
Tractor!

380
01:17:16,220 --> 01:17:17,540
What are you ladies up to?

381
01:17:18,440 --> 01:17:21,360
We're here to see the Donovan's tractor
pull.

382
01:17:21,660 --> 01:17:24,100
We hear he's got a new John Deere.

383
01:17:25,340 --> 01:17:26,340
Tractor pull.

384
01:17:27,140 --> 01:17:29,180
Makes you want to pull something else
now, huh?

385
01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:43,260
Ah, yes, it's definitely good to be back
on Earth.

386
01:24:44,040 --> 01:24:45,480
Mm, that was great.

387
01:24:45,900 --> 01:24:47,520
Mm-hmm. It's amazing.

388
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,160
Hey, look, another bonometer.

389
01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:58,020
We can use it later to hunt squirrels.

390
01:24:58,620 --> 01:25:02,060
And that's all you're going to do,
Darian, because that's not the

391
01:25:02,060 --> 01:25:07,280
bonometer. This is the bonometer. I
should know. I'm the one who made it.

392
01:25:07,560 --> 01:25:08,560
Yeah, but...

393
01:25:08,700 --> 01:25:10,580
It says Bono Mina right on it.

394
01:25:10,860 --> 01:25:13,460
And it even has a warranty with it.

395
01:25:13,820 --> 01:25:15,340
It's still good, by the way.

396
01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:18,840
Do you know what that means, then?

397
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:23,040
No. That means that we were here before.

398
01:25:24,320 --> 01:25:25,620
Quick, Dr. Davis.

399
01:25:26,120 --> 01:25:28,780
How many people did you have sex with
when we couldn't find you?

400
01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:34,020
Um... I think about half the town.

401
01:25:35,300 --> 01:25:36,420
Oh, goodness.

402
01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:41,600
Then this means we are the cause of the
erotic witch virus, ladies.

403
01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:43,140
We were here before.

404
01:25:43,640 --> 01:25:47,400
We were here in the past, from the
future, and we're the cause of the

405
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:48,400
erotic witch virus.

406
01:25:49,860 --> 01:25:51,580
Huh. Well, that sucks.

407
01:25:53,580 --> 01:25:54,580
That's really bad.